Some songs come from the heart.
This one came from years of showing up.
I created this song about what it means to be a Big in the Big Brothers Big Sisters mentorship program. The video spans two of my Littles and some of our everyday adventures, the kind of simple moments that do not seem especially important while they are happening.
A car ride. A day at an amusement park. A meal together. A car show. A conversation about school. A joke that gets repeated for months. A quiet moment when a kid decides to tell you something that has been on his mind.
None of those moments comes with a spotlight.
But stack enough of them together and something starts to happen.
Trust grows.
Confidence grows.
A relationship becomes something a young person can count on.
When people hear the word “mentor,” I think there can be a tendency to picture somebody who has all the answers.
Somebody with perfect advice. Perfect judgment. Perfect timing.
That is not what being a Big has looked like for me.
I have never had all the answers.
What I have tried to offer is something much simpler.
That is the part of mentoring I wanted the song and video to capture.
Not a highlight reel of some adult swooping in to save the day.
Just life.
Two people spending time together.
Talking. Laughing. Learning. Occasionally disagreeing. Trying something new. Getting out of the house. Seeing a little more of the world.
And over time, building something that matters.
The video spans two of my Littles.
What I love most about that is how ordinary so many of the memories are. They are not staged milestones. They are real days, real adventures and real moments that became important because we experienced them together.
One of the things I have learned is that you do not need to be extraordinary to make a difference in a kid's life.
You do not need a psychology degree.
You do not need a perfect childhood.
You do not need to have solved every problem in your own life first.
You need to care.
You need to listen.
And most of all, you need to keep showing up.
That sounds simple, but consistency is powerful.
For a young person, knowing that an adult is going to call, pick them up, ask how school is going, remember what they talked about last time and genuinely care about the answer can mean more than we sometimes realize.
It gives a kid another person in his corner.
Another adult who notices.
Another voice saying, “I believe you can do this.”
And another relationship that quietly reinforces the idea that he matters.
That is why this song means so much to me.
It is not really about me.
It is about the relationship.
It is about the years between the photos and videos. The conversations that never made it onto camera. The questions. The lessons. The mistakes. The laughs. The moments when I thought I was teaching something and realized later that I had learned something too.
That last part is important.
People often talk about volunteering as though the benefit only flows in one direction.
That has not been my experience at all.
Being a Big has challenged me, humbled me, made me think harder about the example I set, and given me memories and relationships I would never trade.
You may sign up because you think you can make a difference in a kid's life.
Then one day you realize the kid has been making a difference in yours the whole time.
What is Big Brothers Big Sisters?
Big Brothers Big Sisters is a mentoring organization that matches caring adult volunteers, called “Bigs,” with young people, or “Littles,” to build supportive one-to-one relationships that can help kids grow in confidence, character and opportunity. If you’d like to learn more about becoming a Big, supporting the program, or getting a young person involved, visit GoBigTampaBay.org.